kellycrull.com - expat life in Spain

I got off the bus today with a few people, and one of the girls on the sidewalk in front of me dropped a white shirt from one of the bags she was carrying.

I grabbed the shirt from the sidewalk and caught up to her. In Spanish, I asked the girl if the shirt was hers, which of course it was. At first she was confused, then the light went on, and she started saying, “Muchas gracias. Muchas gracias.”

In that moment (and others like it), a normal response would be “Your welcome,” the equivalent in Spanish being “De nada“. However, as I was standing there staring at this girl (who continued to thank me profusely) and wishing something intelligent and Spanish-sounding would come out of my mouth, I found out the words “De nada” as in “You’re welcome” never come to me when I need them. It’s like I’ve never said the words before.

I may be reading into this too much, but I think the words “De nada” don’t come easily to me because they’re not words immigrants use. Immigrants use words like “Excuse me” and “I’m sorry” and “I don’t understand” or “I need…” and “Where is the…?”.

As an immigrant, I find my life depends on people helping me. I say “Gracias” or “Thanks” every day. I say thanks to the people at the market for speaking slowly to me so I can understand how much I have to pay them. I say thanks to my Spanish friends who meet with me every week or so for a drink just so I can practice my Spanish. I say thanks to my land lady for calling the water company to figure out a mess with the bill that I would never be able to handle on my own on the phone (telephones are very intimidating when you don’t speak the language). I say thanks to a friend of mine for pointing out one restaurant from the thousands that serves good food at a decent price. I say thanks to a friend for going to the bank with me again to tell the girl behind the counter what I want to do with my account since I never understand any of the bank words they use.

So you get the point. The list goes on. I say thanks all the time.

It just wasn’t until today that I realized I miss being able to say “You’re welcome” once in a while. Maybe it’s that I miss having something, some shoes to fill, where I can actually give something back to other people. I think it’s actually a privilege to be in a place where you have something to give other people. Unfortunately, I’m sure some people never feel like they have anything to give back. I think I’m experiencing just a touch of that. For example, one of these times I’d like to avoid making a fool of myself and actually give someone clear, accurate walking directions to where they want to go in Madrid, and I’d like to give the directions in Spanish.

So, let’s end here. I don’t know if this rambling has been helpful. If it has been, just let me say, “You’re welcome.”